Whistler can sometimes become a microclimate of talent and enthusiasm, today this is the case. It has been a while since we have made a sincere effort of keeping the general public up to date with the local whistler gossip, but today the walls of tyranny have fallen.
we really do love him….we swear
to summarize all that you have missed in our absence, the majority of our friends are all about becoming the next sam hill and thus not fun. Their main goal is to punt themselves down the hill as fast as possible without any concern for their own douchisity. Dave and I have single handedly been as the thugs say “keeping it real” aka drinking our faces off. Wait, we have actually added a member to our crew, Gareth Dyer, thats right, we have a dirtbag that actually has hood status on our team. The drinking team. That being said, Seb has toned down his madness and is all about xc and fit as a mother fucker and the rest are funny as. Anyway, commence with the hating Dave….
We are here to tell you the next big thing in the mountain biking community. You may have heard some whispers on the lift about the legend that is Tristan Merrick. I have been meaning to write this report for a while, but the mere mention of the “t-word” makes me start busting one out. This man is viagra for the masses.
He is a man, he is a legend. You think you might have seen him, but you are wrong, he is far too fast for a mere mortal to see him in action. Clark Kent apparently saw him riding Garbanzo once, but his head exploded and thus the report is unsubstantiated.
The only confirmed report we have is a blury photo of a man in a clown suite and a top 30 finish at some canadian race somewhere. We understand that racing in canada is no longer the joke the rest of us think it is full of `huckers’ and the like, it is now about racing bow legged aussie styles with flat pedal styling and pulling cutties left, right and centre.
no longer the party animal full of cheerful enthusiasm for the sport, Tristen is now 100% focused on the goal ahead, to become the fastest punter there ever was and he will eat fresh, sleep well and drink lemonades and to pose in an orange and white clown suit around the main sponsor of punters in whistler, the garbonzo bike and bean. `he would also like to thank his sponsors, staff housing, in providing him with the facilities to get his training on in moving the Aids infested staff from room to room, in order to share the love that is whistler. Also known as the most horrible rumor in this town.
That being said, the rivalry between the protein fiend has done nothing but intensify, its got to the point that I can’t talk 5 minutes without Tristan sharing his “secret strategies” followed by a hilarious “don’t tell the protein fiend”…as if he coined the mutha fucking phrase. However, this syndrome is quite reminiscent of Duncan riffle’s rise to “power”. However, he has yet to pull his socks past his balls, and for that, we still have hope.
If you see the man the legend, Mr Merrick AKA “Sam hill but shitter” congratulate him on entering pro class, because i thought you had to get paid to enter that shit. I hope to see the flash gordan on the trails, and possibly our boy tristan in the bars sometime soon.
Heres to keepin her pinned eh!
Posted By…. The Hate House